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February 04, 2008

This clip

Cloverfield: First Official Clip of Cloverfield Monster

Has convinced me that CLOVERFIELD would indeed be a waste of my money, time and patience. I can't say I was excited about it even when it was the Hot Geek Something (though I'll admit being intrigued) but eighty minutes of this or the equivalent? Actually, it wouldn't be equivalent, since this is clearly Money Shot territory.

So, where do I turn in my geek cred card? I figure this is a bannable offense. But I was ready to punch out after thirty seconds. There's "how people would really act in the presence of a giant monster" and "an entertaining portrayal of how you might imagine people would act in the presence of a giant monster." This was square in the former.

January 17, 2008

Looking for CLOVERFIELD antidote?

And a movie that has a shot at delivering?


Diary of the Dead Trailer! | Horror Movie, DVD, & Book Reviews, News, Interviews at Dread Central

Look no further. Yes, LAND OF THE DEAD wasn't perfect, but it was entertaining. DIARY OF THE DEAD looks to be a far sight better. And meatier. My misgivings about Romero returning to "prequelize" NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD are all but forgotten.

As spotted on first.

Cloverfield - A saucerful of predictions

CLOVERFIELD will probably do well enough to support its modest budget. The viral marketing campaign that is driving the movie will cost a quarter to a half of conventional advertising for an analogous movie. Granted, they're still buying newspaper ads (and I'm assuming targeted TV ads, but if they didn't, it wouldn't surprise me a bit -- those things are expensive.) Between the LOST audience and DVD sales subsequent to the short run in the theatre, it should end up in the black. Thirty million isn't a lot these days.

CLOVERFIELD, to all appearances, is a monster movie turned inside-out. It's the equivalent of reality-basing every Toho monster flick ever made (though my gut tells me the plot is more along the lines of GORGO: mother monster off to save baby monster stolen by evil moneygrubbing humans). And, in the parlance of comic criticism today, it's going to try to suck all the "fun" out of the genre. I don't know about you, but when I put in a monster movie, I want to see a monster trashing stuff, no matter how many thousands of onscreen deaths are implied. Oh, right, just like in the A-TEAM, all the bullets hit tires and all the monsters are ripping down abandoned buildings. See, monster movies aren't really horror movies, with but a few exceptions. They're monster movies. They have their own rules, and really the A-number One rule is that the monster is the hero.

Continue reading "Cloverfield - A saucerful of predictions" »

January 14, 2008

I can has horror blogger status?

The Horror Blog - Horror Roundtable: Week Eighty-One

My second weekly appearance on the Horror Roundtable. If anyone, I blame for getting me involved with this particular group of maniacs. I'm holding my breath until the moment that they realize I really don't know what the hell I'm talking about and simply making it all up as I go along.

January 09, 2008

Sometimes, they might even come back.



Originally uploaded by
Somehow, I don’t think I got that allusion quite right. Oh well.

For those of you whose memories stretch all the way back to last Halloween, I ran a list of my 22 or so favorite horror films. Hey, noticed, bless his heart. There were a couple unusual choices to be found. No, not QUATERMASS AND THE PIT. I’m talking about THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK.

I suppose it’s hip to namecheck it now, or maybe it was around the time of THE BLAIR WITCH project. Or maybe it was shunted back into a dark corner so as not to steal away the limelight. I don’t know; I wasn’t reading heavily in horror commentary at the time. I do know, however, that the movie scared the hell out of me at the time that I saw it on broadcast television (pre-cable, even.) Yeah, you laugh now, but you weren’t ten when I was.

Continue reading "Sometimes, they might even come back." »

January 03, 2008

Boardgames rule

TOMB IT MAY CONCERN - David Zuzelo Scribbles on Mangled Media!: Dawn Of The Dead Board Game

Particularly when they're the DAWN OF THE DEAD boardgame, put out by Avalon Hill in the late 70s. You remeber boardgames, right? Back when computers didn't have the horsepower to run sophisticated simulations like this, you had to do it in analog.

As spotted at the The Horror Blog.

December 19, 2007

DAY OF THE DEAD revisited

We are the monsters.

When last I saw DAY OF THE DEAD, it was late 1985 when the movie actually made its debut in the theatres. The half-viewings in the middle of the night on Starz while I fed or cradled my infant son or daughter don’t count. As any parent can tell you, raising an infant requires you to live in an altered state of consciousness, where like Tyler Durden, you are neither awake nor asleep, but a horrible melding of the worst qualities of both. “Oh, that’s nice. DAY OF THE DEAD. I’ll stop changing channels here…ZZZZZZ” and then I wake up after the baby stops crying and shuffle back upstairs not remembering what I saw in the phosphor dots (yes, I still watch a CRT) blazing across my insomniac-glazed eyeballs.


Continue reading "DAY OF THE DEAD revisited" »

November 10, 2007

TWENTY-TWO

As suggested by Sean, a list of current favorite horror flicks. No, I can't be bothered to find images for them all.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
They’re coming to get you, Barbara.

ALIEN
Mother!

DAWN OF THE DEAD
Maybe it’s all that they remember from before.

DAWN OF THE DEAD
Bro? I’m sorry.

28 WEEKS LATER
The monkeys. You don't understand.

THEM
The city of Los Angeles is now under martial law.

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS
They’re coming. You’re next.

THE THING
Trust is a hard thing to come by these days.

IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS
That happened two chapters ago. Ha ha.

QUATERMASS AND THE PIT
Hobbs End is closed for good reason.

FIGHT CLUB
Your name is Tyler Durden.

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
I know you’re in there. I can smell your brains.

THE TERMINATOR
And it will not stop until you are dead.

JAWS
But we delivered the bomb.

POLTERGEIST
This house is cleansed.

TWIN PEAKS
Where’s Annie?

NAKED LUNCH
Time for our William Tell act.

BLUE VELVET
Don’t you fucking look at me.

THE FLY
I’ll just find someone else to be my friend.

CHINATOWN
The future, Mr. Gittes. The future.

GODZILLA
It cannot be stopped.

VIDEODROME
Long live the new flesh.

THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK
Possible that it won't stand the test of time.

October 24, 2007

Sean and I agree

The trailer for I AM LEGEND looks pretty good (Sean's words "Best of the three [he showcased this morning.]") Normally the presence of Will Smith makes me a bit leery, just because of the type of big movie he's usually cast in, being much more of a movie star than an actor (though I know he can act.) Now, this isn't going to be Matheson's novel, so I'm going to put that aside. Only the basic conceit has been retained (OMEGA MAN may be a truer adaptation, though it's much more muddled in end of the decade politics among other things.)

The question in my mind is, will this be an action movie or will it be a horror movie? Goodness knows my use of the term "horror" is looser than most (just ask Rick Geerling--he'll set you straight.) I sense the possibility for lots of creepy moments, but who knows how it'll turn out. It certainly promises to be spectacular, at least with the initial moments. But we'll have to wait and see if that will settle into real chills.

However, the fact remains that I'm actually interested in going out and seeing it. Which is...unusual...

October 19, 2007

Highway_Monster.jpg



Originally uploaded by
I-Mockery.com's Halloween Grab Bag - The Monster Initial Stickers Name Generator!

Thanks to Boing Boing and I-Mockery, you too can have your initials in MONSTER INITIAL STICKER FORM. Go, enjoy.

July 08, 2007

All kinds of awesome

Cthulhu Chess set - WetCanvas!

As it says, a homemade Cthulhu-inspired chess set. Apparently the artist is going to make more of these. Man, this would make me break out the paints and brushes again.

June 20, 2007

Monster Planet reviewed - Spoileriffic

Okay, first. If this hadn't been a Wellington zombie book, I'd have looked right over it on the table. The cover design doesn't do a single thing to sell the book, whereas ZOMBIE NATION had a compelling image and a much more vivid type treatment. The choice of images doesn't really do much for me, either. But then I'm pretty darn fussy when it comes to book covers. I also don't buy *for* the covers, but a good cover will make me consider the book, if it intersects with my interests.

Overall, a solid read. And by solid, I kept reading and wanted to see how things ended up, finishing the book in...four hours or so (too many distractions). I thought all the nods to the previous books were rewarding, rather than obligatory tying off of loose ends. Not that there were too many surprises in that regard (though the connection between Gary and Dekalb was a great touch, and even the irredeemable Gary finds a way to put his selfishness to a greater use.)

Ayaan's transformation from defiant human to submitting lich (okay, perhaps the wrong word, but the right word is escaping me now) was strong and believable. Also, a great illustration of how even the most singleminded determination can be turned around to serve other purposes. Now, whether she was right or wrong is another issue entirely. It's not perfectly clear whether the Tsarevich was going to have his pure goal of reconstruction corrupted -- he never really had the chance. But then he was pretty unequivocal in the means justifying the end (a stance that even Mael didn't take in MONSTER ISLAND.) So maybe Ayaan was duped, and maybe she really was working for the greater good (assuming you hold the reconstruction of civilization as a good thing.)

Equally well-handled was Sarah's growing up and changing, illuminating one of the central and unspoken themes of the book -- that only the living can grow and change; the dead are what they are. Yes, the vast hordes of mindless zombies can be harnessed and focused, but that's not the underlying truth. Take away the lich controlling them, and all of a sudden, using them as mindless labor doesn't seem like such a great idea. But Sarah, being just about the only living protagonist by the end of things, can actually mature and go from being a pushed-around child to an adult capable of grasping her own life. Dekalb can't (or won't) be anything other than a controlling protector, Gary can't be anything other than selfish, Ayaan herself won't accept Sarah's adulthood (leading to her final end). The dead are what they are. They can't see past the end of the world (with perhaps the exception of Nilla.)

So yeah, themewise, plenty of meat to hang on the bones of the plot. But then I also expect this from Dave's work (if he'll pardon the over-familiarity). In terms of action, MONSTER PLANET delivers, of course. There's even some new touches added to make the zombies extra-scary (sawed-off hands replaced by spikes of bone while wearing bulletproof helmets). And, surprisingly, there's a few touches of pure lunacy (liches driving monster trucks and mummies firing shoulder-mounted rockets while riding in a helicopter -- no I can't make this stuff up) that are welcome, even if they distract from a sense of horror. But I'm a purist when it comes to some things.

About the only knock that I can put on MONSTER PLANET is that there weren't many outstanding bits of prose. Dave delivered those in MONSTER ISLAND particularly, but also in MONSTER NATION. Oddly, they didn't seem to be as present in this outing. Maybe I wasn't looking for them, or maybe plot/character took the driver's seat this time. I'm not sure. And yes, I missed them, but only a little. There was plenty else to keep me going with the fresh takes on old monsters and explorations of what it really means to be dead and alive.

May 22, 2007

I warned you!

SF Zombie Mob

I told you that the zombies were just waiting for the right moment to strike. 5/25/07. The dead will walk.

Or something.

January 03, 2006

#$&*@!!!!

Cleaning my office for the New Year so that I can find all the stuff I lost and don't have to feel like the room is going to cave in around me if I sneeze wrong. So damn much dust on the stuff that I'm wondering why the hell I bought in the first place. That Sentinel by McFarlane toys? Cool, but it's a freaking dust magnet. Same with all those cool figures from Final Fantasy X (never played the game but the designs are pretty amazing). And that Giant Iron Giant toy...well, it's still completely great, but was tacky to the touch until this morning.

I haven't even really started on my bookshelves. Still have damn 3D and art training books that I haven't touched since I moved into this place. And those Christmas comics to shelve. Where the hell am I gonna put those?

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, though. It's the Southern Pacific from Phoenix, coming in at sixty-five miles per. All 200 tons of it...

But if I survive this, I might even get some writing done this week.

October 31, 2005

Celebrating Halloween in World of Warcraft



Originally uploaded by .
I'll write up something more about this later, but here's a shot of my character standing dangerously close to the Wicker Man being burned to celebrate Hallow's End in the online game/time vampire World of Warcraft.
Or I can start writing it now while I'm waiting for trick-or-treaters and blasting the Cure's Disintegration, which was one of the only appropriate CDs I could reach given that most of them are packed up so my daughter doesn't rip them off the shelves.

World of Warcraft, like many computer RPGs (particularly MMORPGs) has a long and rich backstory that hardcore players are familiar with, and lots of other folks simply blow off. And like most RPGs, the backstory in WoW is largely original, but also syncretically constructed from a number of real world mythologies and fictional worlds. I'm most interested in how WoW handles the Undead, one of eight races that players can build characters from.

So, the tortured backstory is this. A demonic host invades the war-torn world of Azeroth. They're badasses, dark to the core. Hell, they raise the dead as an army to ravage their enemies and crush all opposition through both fear and force. These guys are not good news. They even manage to subvert the scion of the kingdom to their dark ways, burn, pillage and feast on the corpses of the fallen. In their wake, a plague of undeath follows, swallowing up families, villages, kingdoms, civilization teeters on the brink of being consumed.

Of course, the tide of battle turns. But then something interesting happens. Some of the undead, after the death of their demonic masters, declare themselves to be free beings, owing alleigance to none but their own, bound by a curse and the plague that's left them intelligent, though certainly not pelasing to the eye. Instead of being simple flesh-munching zombies, the Undead of WoW, the free Undead (or Forsaken, as they call themselves), are just like us. Only kinda pallid and a little glowy-eyed. They retain their passions, drives, and essential characters.

And they're kinda pissed at the rest of the world for trying to exterminate them. Granted, most folks don't know that there's a difference between Forsaken and the Scourge (the demonic flavor of undeadness, who are mindless eating machines by and large.) Now, the Forsaken know they can't protect their nascent kingdom (or queendom as the case may be) all by themselves, and have formed an alliance with the Horde (orcs, trolls and tauren, who are sort of minotaur-like folks who have a culture rooted in that of the plains Indians of america). Of course, not even their fellow allies trust them fully. I mean, geez, they're *dead* for crying out loud. They are not like us.

Only they are.

You'd figure that Blizzard (the makers of WoW, and really it's unfair of me to talk about them like a giant monolith, when I know for fact that it's made up of quite literally an army of skilled designers, artists, programmers, testers and the like) would go all out for Halloween. After all, they've had harvest festivals, Easter-like Spring celebrations, and Father Winter observances. Halloween should be something special. And indeed it is. Jack-o-lanterns festoon all the capitals, and players can trick or treat at inns and the like (often being temporarily turned into a cat or frog or leper gnome for their trouble). Enchanted confections turn players bigger (and oranger) and apple bobbing draws a big crowd everywhere.

And then there's the Wicker Man. This gigantic effigy can be found near to the Forsaken capital city (in the ruins of the jewel in the crown of the old kingdom). It's probably built to a scale of nine or ten meters in height (I'm terrible at guessing this sort of thing), and every night for about two weeks or so, it's burned in celebration of not only the commemoration of the Forsaken breaking the shackles of their demonic masters, but also to serve as a warning to any who would attempt to enslave or eradicate them again. The Banshee Queen herself appears in spirit, moments before ignition, and the crowd goes wild, firing off all manner of fireworks and spell effects, cheering and frothing in proper celebration

I have to admit, the first time I took in the spectacle, I was moved. Not only because it was visually quite impressive (as you can see above), but because it added something crucial to the lore of the Forsaken and the game in general. These beings started out as the lowest of the low, mindless servants of the hellish thugs that would remake the world in their image. Even after that, the Forsaken were persecuted and exterminated by the humans that would embrace them, but for the plague that's transformed their bodies.

But the Forsaken have had enough of that. They're not going quietly into the good night. With the Wicker Man, they're putting their enemies on notice that the Undead are free beings and never going to serve anyone again. That's right. Non servaim, bastards.

Of course, the Wicker Man has its origins in Celtic culture, where it was an offering to the gods to ensure a good harvest and remind folks that today's hero might indeed be tomorrow's sacrifice, so a little humility might be in order. In WoW, the Wicker Man is a stark warning, blazing against the digital stars hanging in a slate green-black sky: respect us or face our wrath.

October 18, 2005

Blasphemy!

to my essay on the nebulous boundaries between SF/Horror:

Is the idea here that if the characters aren't straight-laced enough, it's not science fiction? I think that's a needlessly proscriptive way of drawing the line between these genres--if as is often said science fiction is simply regular literature with some speculative elements thrown in, then couldn't--indeed, shouldn't--it encompass the entire range of human behavior and emotion, including extremes of fear? Then there's the part that argues that Lovecraft isn't scary...hoo boy. But hey, read it and decide for yourself.

The Thing by Hawks = sober, straitlaced men of science defending themselves against an alien vegetable.

The Thing by Carpenter = scary paranoid freakout.

It's all about the destination, Sean. Carpenter brings you to a scarier place than the original ever imagined, driven by paranoia, mistrust and terror. Hawks brings you the sober triumph of science.

Science fiction, and I'll add the caveat "to myself", doesn't and can't bring the scares like horror can. It's not trying to, for the most part. Even the at best unsettling "Hey you old fogeys, what happens when we start jacking ourselves into computers and hacking off our limbs and replacing them with blenders" cyberpunk fiction of the mid-80s doesn't scare. Can't. Won't. Most of that anxiety was driven by the tension between humanist SF of the previous generation and the "we'll freaking do anything for a new sensation" attitude of the new kids. (And by "kids" I mean authors that nodody paid attention to before they were glommed into the category of Hot New Something.)

Granted, by the "it's all about the destination" metric, just about anything can be horror, which I don't think he disagrees with.

And sure, science fiction could address the span of human emotion, but it largely chooses not to. Then again, horror often doesn't soberly consider the intersection of technology/politics/society. Hell, horror's not often sober about much.

Which is why I don't find Lovecraft a good example of horror myself. His writing is too distant, too considered, too rational even when he's trying to describe the indescribable. Lovecraft is a lot of things, at times lyric, an excellent expressor of the uncanny, rife with existential dread at his best.

But his writing is not scary. Never has been. Being afraid of Lovecraft's Elder Gods is like being afraid of the stars or tidal waves (or earthquakes). I suppose in some parts of the world (like California) a healthy respect is demanded, but his horror is so impersonal, distant, uncaring, that I really can't get worked up about it. I suppose folks in the thirties, driven by a more roundly "humans are the center of the universe" sort of attitude would be more unsettled by this sort of "inversion." But I'm not.

My opinion, mind you. And likely to be an unpopular one.

October 12, 2005

Way to waste a morning.

Zombie Simulator, v 3.7.

I'm forcing myself to turn this off right now, else I'll lose the entire day to the damn thing. Full power zombie simulation, featuring army troops and cluster bombs (to be used sparingly, as humans killed by one become zombies themselves.) Yeah, you've gotta use a little imagination and the graphics are barebones, but if you ever think humans are going to beat a full infestation without killing themselves, you've got another thing coming.)

Link courtesy The Horror Reader.

October 11, 2005

Above all, remain calm!

a little east of reality: in case of...zombies??

Make with the clicky. Because you don't want to be caught with your pants down in case of zombie infestation, whether it's the annoying Class I or the civilization-threatening Class V...

Link courtesy Delendaescarthago, whatever that means...